My professional story started in November 1996. I had just finished completing my student teaching, and I was poised to begin my teaching career. I started as a long-term substitute at the middle-school level right up the street from the high school at which I student taught, and I directed the band & orchestra. Shortly thereafter, I received news I had been accepted as a member of the 1997 Disney Grammy All-American College Orchestra. This was a performance opportunity on which I had worked for three years before being accepted. Consequently, I accepted the offer, and my teaching career was placed on hold.
After what was probably the best summer of my life up to that point, I returned home in late August to find out I had received multiple calls from the School District of Philadelphia music supervisors in an effort to recruit me for a long-term substitute teacher placement at the high school in which I had completed my student teaching in November of 1996. I later found out what had distinguished me was a comment I had made in passing to my co-op teacher. It was Thanksgiving morning, and I had decided to accompany the band to the Thanksgiving Day Football game (the band usually performed at the game in the stands and on the field for half-time). I had been working with the group in the weeks leading up to the event, and at some point during the game I had mentioned something like "next year we can do this" and proceeded to describe my future-oriented ideas to my co-op teacher.
(Fast forward back to the summer of 1997).
I was now being recruited by the School District Music Supervisors. My former co-op teacher had been selected for a position outside of the school district and later told me his rationale behind recommending me for the position, which was based on the comment I had made during the Thanksgiving Football Game. My co-op teacher explained how he was intrigued by the comment because I was a student teacher at the time. He told me his thought was "why would he be thinking about next year. He is a student teacher." However, it was precisely this comment, which distinguished me to the point of being recommended for the position.
I remember the first year being a whirlwind of activity filled with fitting into already established customs and traditions. It was plenty for me to handle, and it was incredibly stressful. Managing the stress was definitely part of the job, and I often explained I would only be in the position for a few years (definitely not past the age of 40). As it turns out I have been in the position for 24 years, and I am 47 years old. Along the way, I have had many rewarding moments, and I have had many moments during which I have felt called to something greater. I have always enjoyed working with the students, and I believe most of the students have appreciated my work on their behalf. I have also received a few very nice letters students have written to me about how much they valued their time in the band & orchestra program under my direction. Such letters such were tremendous gifts, which not only created a sense of self-confidence and pride, but also reassured me I was an accomplished educator. As I think about my time as the band and orchestra director, I can now see how (in the beginning) I was trying to maintain what already was. Slowly, the progression evolved into what could be, and then eventually came the question: where do I go from here?
The answer to the question has been 24 years in the making (maybe longer) and is still evolving. I had always held a strong belief in my ability to specifically facilitate students' high school experiences because of my intense school community involvement when I was in high school. However, being focused on my role as a band and orchestra director had kept me focused on making one particular part of a high school function. As time progressed, I felt as if the process became a bit less gratifying, but I never lost the joy of working with the students. It actually saddened me when kids did not respond to the types of experiences I had planned for them, and I have also had former students come back and explain how they regretted not being more involved in the program, while they were in school. Again, I felt sad because I wish they had been more involved too, but I certainly understood. Individuals' readiness to learn does not always align with what the teacher is ready to teach. It is a much more involved process, and it is highly individualized. In addition, the students are regularly pulled in many different directions by other teachers, who also believe the path they suggest will be the most rewarding. Within this context, I enjoyed trying to find the best ways for individually engaging students, and I also began thinking about ways to evolve as a person and educator for the purpose of engaging a greater number of students.
I decided to further my education and enrolled in a Master of Business Administration Program because I believed a bit of distance from music would broaden my horizons, make me more effective in the classroom, and unlock my leadership potential. The business courses also gave me an increased awareness of who leaders were and what they did, and I greatly valued the time I spent in the program. I graduated in 2005 as a completely new person, who was retooled and ready to use what I had learned for better navigation in a school district, which had become much more business oriented. My new thought pathways greatly helped me gain stronger organizational footing. However, each time I expressed an interest in leadership, administrators at the school-level explained how valuable I was in my current role and did not accept my leadership offers. It seemed being a successful band and orchestra director was locking me into only being a band and orchestra director, but I still had other aspirations.
During the years 2004-2010 the band and orchestra program was doing quite well, the students averaged over 80 performances each school year. Performances included: school community events, concerts, assemblies, parades, marching band competitions, jazz band competitions, orchestra adjudications, and a variety of special civic/service-oriented events, which changed from year-to-year. Students in the program were regular advancing to district and regional honors ensembles, and I also had a few students selected for state- level honors ensembles. One student also advanced to the all-national level, which was fun. Although this period showed significant growth, there were factors at play, which caused significant change: 1) the 2008 financial crisis, and ) the opening of a new performing arts magnet school in the same geographical area as the school in which I worked.
2008 Financial Crisis
Just prior to the economic effects of the 2008 financial crisis descending upon the school district, my principal at the time called me into the office and warned me about some significant (still pending but very likely) district-level changes, which would unfold in conjunction with the financial crisis. In short, the financial crisis was going to financially affect me on a personal level, but the principal explained an interest in still having me produce the same output with the students amid an oncoming and unspecified period of financial strain. The news was difficult to process because financial resources were the means for completing many of the activities, which made up the fabric of what had become the band and orchestra program experience at the time. If the principal was expecting me to read between the lines and garner a different (more hopeful) message, the message was certainly lost in translation. Shortly thereafter, significant changes ensued as the whole school district went into survival mode, and from this point forward relationships with administrators were very tenuous and strained (which is putting it nicely).
The New Arts Magnet School
During my career, I have done my best with what I have had to work with, and I have made a significant name for myself. Although individuals' thoughts about me are often-times quite polarized, the main tenets of my professional approach have been transparency, honesty, and integrity. I also possess a very competitive spirit, which certainly flames the fires of my professional passions and serves as a significant motivator. Consequently, I have organized and presented some significantly talented groups of students, which garnered attention among my peers. I have also arranged and orchestrated music for my ensembles, which emphasized their strengths and mitigated their weaknesses. I was grateful for the opportunity to work with students, who were motivated by a similar passion for music and created a positive synergy among students from significantly varied cultural and ethnic backgrounds. Our diversity was our biggest strength, and it was a primary source of our school pride.
Just prior to the financial crisis, district officials enacted a plan to open a performing arts magnet school in the same geographical area as the school in which I worked. Such a placement had significant implications for the band and orchestra program for not only my school but also two other surrounding high schools. The presence of the school was predicted to detract from the band and orchestra programs of the surrounding comprehensive schools, which it certainly did. The establishment of the arts magnet also detracted from other arts magnet schools in other parts of the city. The growth and strength of the newly founded arts magnet directly suppressed and limited the growth of the other arts magnets and the other high school band and orchestra programs, who relied on those students to facilitate strong programs. For five years, it was a difficult circumstance to overcome, but thanks to strategic school-level relationships, the affect was lessened as concerted efforts were made to bring students with musical experience together early in their high school careers for the continuation of musical growth. However, the energy of the available (and remaining) students had shifted, and there was also a school-level shift from corralling students with experience into a cohesive musical ensemble toward corralling students with little or no experience and expecting the same resultant performance outcomes. There was a certain desperation, which has proved quite challenging, especially because many students have not been cultured into understanding the importance of following through, showing up, and giving (time, energy, effort, and talent) to the school community. The new students were very much oriented toward different academic areas and treated music as an add-on or an optional type of pursuit.
To better understand this progression, I will recount a story of those who were rooting against me and my other non-arts magnet high school colleagues.
It was the night of the annual All-Philadelphia High School Band, Orchestra, and Chorus Concert (one year prior to the opening of the new Arts Magnet School), and I was sitting in the upper level of the Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts awaiting the start of the concert. As a point of incidental socializing, I said hello to three individuals to my left as I sat down. As the moments unfolded, I must have identified myself as a teacher through casual pre-concert chit-chat. I probably also explained my school affiliation. At one point, one of the individuals asked if I had any students on the stage, and I explained how I had a number of students on the stage (students in my program usually comprised an average of 23-30% of the orchestra and band personnel since 1997). I was proud of my students and specifically identified how many students I had on the stage that particular evening. I may have also provided some historical context, since the individual seemed very interested. Much to my surprise, one of the other individuals made the following comment: "we'll see what happens when the new arts magnet opens." At that point, I must have replied "yes, we will," and the concert began. It was very apparent there were forces at play, which specifically took joy in predicting/enacting the failure of others. Of course, I took it as a challenge, which has been very real over the past 12 years as students who would have traditionally attended my school (and other area high schools) were targeted and steered toward the newly established arts magnet. What pains me the most is the idea for the school (at least jokingly) was originally my own idea when I first started in 1997 (I pitched it in jest to the regional superintendent), and during the course of my career (and unbeknownst to me), the idea gained traction and was implemented. Ultimately, I did not quit and have kept moving forward, while still celebrating the students' successes, which has helped stabilize the band and orchestra program and ensure its survival.
The conversation I had at the concert that evening, inspired a curiosity within me, which was centered on transparency, fairness, respect, and integrity. I wanted to know how the decisions were made, and I wanted access to the process, so my voice and ideas could also be considered. It was the beginning of my journey toward becoming an educational leader. I just did not know it yet.
A Band and Orchestra Director Profile (according to me)
When you are a teacher (especially a band and orchestra teacher), there is sometimes a need to prove the value of your program to administrators. During my career, the administrators have constantly shifted, so the need for proving the value of the program has always been present. During my career, there was only one assistant-principal, who demonstrated a long-term commitment to serving the school. All other administrators came and went within 6-8 years.
In my exchanges and interactions with administrators over the years, I was able to see what they were trying to do, but something always seemed askew as if the administrators were not aligned with who they really were. Consequently, they often relied on authority and created resistance rather than collaboration. I have learned a tremendous amount by witnessing administrative leadership attempts, which were rooted in poor treatment of individuals and non-transparent, politicized behavior. Although I may have not yet held an official leadership position within a school, I consider myself to have trained many administrators through my refusal to sacrifice what I have believed was the right course of action. I did not and will not change or yield to satisfy or patronize organizational hierarchies, which perpetuate unfair, unequal, inequitable, and other discriminatory circumstances. I believe each person should be fully valued and respected and develop/receive opportunities for growth within flat and fully transparent organizations functioning as an open system.
A Constant Tug
During my life (and my career as an educator) I have experienced a constant tug toward something greater. Although it remained undefined for quite a while, I always felt as if I needed new challenges. At this point in my life, I now know the area of focus in which I am most interested, and it is centered upon educational leadership. My thoughts about it are complicated, but I will do my best to explain it.
As a child, I remember other children (my own age) being drawn to me and arguing with each other about who was going to be my friend, but I would go to great lengths to downplay the attention. I wanted to be everyone's friend, and I remember making a point to say, "we can all be friends." In many ways, I was a leader at a very young age, but I did not consciously know how or why. My natural disposition seemed oriented toward being the type of person other individuals treated as what was considered a leader. In grade school, I was elected captain of the safety patrol. It may not seem like a big deal, but it certainly was to me. It was the first time I was elected by my peers and received a title. In high school, I was elected as the student government president of my senior class, but I had not actively pursued the title (or had an interest in it) until a teacher pulled me aside and mentioned how I would be a great candidate if I decided to pursue it. People seemed to see something within me, which I did not actively recognize, but it was certainly there. My significant involvement in the school community most likely influenced how others perceived me, but I had the same type of experience outside of school as well.
I was embraced as a student leader, but being a student leader certainly had its ups and downs (in many ways more downs than ups). As I look back now, I now realize this is still true when serving in a leadership role because you are accepting the responsibility of dealing with the downs so others can have the ups. However, as a teenager dealing with leadership scenarios, the social dynamics definitely had an effect on me and influenced how I approached my collegiate studies and my approach to life. For a long time, I was not interested in organizations or groups and deliberately steered away from taking on leadership responsibility or membership in fraternal organizations. I did not feel a connection like I had before I was exposed to the realities of being a leader.
To this day, I downplay attention (even for seemingly wonderful accomplishments). I remember being in my grade-school schoolyard asking my Mom not to brag about me to the other mothers even while all the other Mothers went on and on about their children. For me, moving forward has always been about doing it rather than talking about it, and I often times contemplate why people seem to desperately need attention for their accomplishments. I often contemplate why people need a connection with others as members of organizations, and I am often times quite perplexed by individuals who cannot make a personal decision unless they receive excessive feedback prior to making the decision. I am actually quite uncomfortable with group think, and I believe each person is entitled to make their own decisions without undue influence from others. Of course, this area is much more complicated and could be sorted out on many different levels, but I believe individuals deserve a choice regarding how they engage others and the choice to connect (or not connect) should be respected because each individual deserves to express their own free will as long as it does not impinge upon the free will of others.
However, for quite some time (especially recently) I have been reflecting on my life, and I feel myself mentally emerging into a space, which is once again ready for responsibility. In my heart, I know I possess an amazing ability to connect with others, and I have suppressed/repressed those feelings for the past 25 years. I believe my interest is based on a certain readiness to accept within a context of maturity. I do not want to lead because I want to be served. Rather, I recognize leadership is service to others. Leadership is building others up and supporting collective goals for moving forward as defined by an agreed upon vision and mission. Leadership is maintaining a disposition, which values everyone.
During my career, I have interacted with numerous administrators. However, only a few had a caring disposition and were genuinely interested in facilitating team success. Others seemed only interested in serving their time and positioning themselves for their next big promotion. Most administrators I have encountered have been transient in nature, and I believe such transience erodes organizational success. Consequently, I interpreted these experiences as a call to action, and I was inspired to pursue my Doctorate in Educational Leadership. I am proud and honored to report I completed my program in October 2020, and I currently exploring pathways for serving in a long-term educational leadership role.
Early in my career, I was regularly encouraged to pursue administrative roles. Again, I am not sure why, but it was a regular occurrence. However, my personal background, experiences, and interests were not aligned with such goals at the time. I had always excelled in academic settings as a student (and as a teacher), and, over the course of time, I had developed a fascination with organizations and leadership. I believe my maturity level, personal vision, and personal mission are now converging and creating a unified expression of who I am as a person and as an educational leader, who is poised to share and accept responsibility for continued growth and success of not only myself, but also the students, staff members, stakeholders, and communities I will serve as my career unfolds.
Thank You.